The Angry Anus: Who Can Blame It?

Anal sex is nothing new, but it has certainly grown in popularity, with more and more people perfecting the act, courageous experimentation, and more products than ever, helping brave holes become prepared and enhancing the experience. Unbeknownst to many, there's actually a "hole" process (pun intended) involved in properly preparing the hole of glory for it's debut. The anus has been neglected for so long. There hasn't always been enough knowledge on anal sex and anal preparation. Things have been jammed in with no lube. Saliva and arousal was thought to be enough for those spur of the moment anal acts, resulting in pain, tearing and bleeding. People have been uncomfortable, concerned about the possibility of the brown suprise; and the neglected anus has been left open, exposed, failing to execute the grip it once had, with no aftercare direction back to tightness. Poor angry anus. Who can blame it? Save your holes people!!! There's a whole array of processes involved in making it happy again.

You've got to coax that hole into receiving, but keep in mind that the muscles were designed for things to come "out", not for things to go "in". That's why the angry anus resists, but you can persuade your anus to compromise by taking some time to prepare it for insertion.

Anal Understanding

The anus is made up of 2 circular rings of muscles called the internal anal sphincter and the external anal sphincter. The rectum is located just beyond the anal opening (anus) after the anorectal line. The anus and rectum are not self lubricating, so the delicate tissue can tear or rip without lubrication. This is why you MUST use a lubricant during anal sexual acts. Both men and women have the ability to achieve orgasm through anal means. Men can achieve orgasm by having their prostate stimulated. The prostate can be accessed from about 2 inches inside of the anus. It can be stimulated internally by finger/object insertion or externally through the perineum (one my favorite parts of male anatomy) which is the area located between gonads (nuts) and the anus.

In women there's an "A-spot" (anterior fornix) located about 5 to 6 inches inside of the vagina. This A-spot can be indirectly stimulated by anal penetration. Touching, licking, fingering and penetration of the anus can be anywhere from mildly to extremely pleasurable for both genders without sexual orientation being a factor at all.

Anal Preparation

Using a lubed finger ( clean fingers, nails cut short) or a tongue, is a good non-hostile way to facilitate an anal introduction after you and your anus are completely relaxed and aroused. Swirling around the anus and darting the tongue/finger in and out is great way for the person performing the anal act, to say "hello". Once you are comfortable and aroused have your partner insert their tongue and/or lubed finger in a little deeper. Let it rest there for a little bit, before giving them the green light to begin slowly moving it in and out while going a little more deeper. Repeat and allow them to gradually go as deep as you desire with each rep. Have them stop when the depth becomes uncomfortable for you. This can be done as often as you like and it's a good way to get your anus used to the sensation and depth that you're comfortable with.

Butt plugs slathered in water-based or silicone lube are great anal introductory ambassadors. These toys can be used during foreplay, during sex or can be worn unbeknownst to anyone, while you're out in public. They are cleverly designed to fit comfortably in your anus without getting lost, but you should choose the smallest size first, so you can train your anus to gradually work up to a larger size that's comfortable for you. If you choose to get one, purchase one made of silicon, stainless steel or borosilicate glass and make sure you clean it after each use. The butt plugs made of hard plastic or acrylic are porous which makes them more susceptible to holding bacteria from your gastrinal intestinal tract. Butt plugs can also come in vibrating form and can be used during oral sex, vaginal sex, or simultaneously while utilizing a different toy on another area. A butt plug can stimulate your prostate if you're a man, and can pleasure the back of your vaginal wall (from within) if you're a woman. Since the anus is surrounded by nerve endings, this can add additional pleasure to your anal introduction.

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Anal beads are a unisex sex toy made of balls or spheres designed to provide pleasure by being inserted in and out of the anus and rectum . The beads are connected and change in size on the same strand, and there's a ring on the end so that the person inserting them has complete control and so the beads don't get lost inside of you. Again lube, lube,and more lube should be used so that the anal introduction goes smoothly. Slowly insert the beads one by one then remove them slowly to stimulate your anus. They are designed to give pleasure during insertion and removal. Having your partner do this, while performing oral sex on you is a nice technique. Removing the beads slowly at the point of climax can also give your anus something to smile about. Only purchase anal beads made of silicone or another nonporous material. Do not use beads made of plastic or those held together by a nylon string. Start out with the smallest beads and graduate yourself to the larger ones higher up on the strand when you feel ready.

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Anal Acts

Once your anal introductory activities have gone successfully well, you are now ready to guide your anus to the next level: Anal Sex. Be advised that anal poses a higher STD risk because of the possibility of the anal tissue tearing and the possibility of transmitting bacteria such as E.coli and parasites such as Giardia. There is also a risk of transmitting Hepatitis A, B, and C due to fact that the anal area and fecal matter go hand in hand and fecal matter can be a breeding ground for the things I mentioned. This is why it's best practice for your partner to use a condom and it's equally important to use lots of lube during the act to help decrease the possibility of tearing and ripping.

When getting ready for the anal act it is not medically recommended that you "habitually" use a water enema as a pre-anal cleansing practice, because doing so can increase the risk for the deterioration of your intestinal lining. Using witch hazel and water to externally clean your anus is a better practice. Eat foods high in fiber and drink plenty of water during the days leading up to your anal debut, so you can have a regular bowel movement to "move the crowd". The anus is self-cleaning, so time passed, coupled with a witch hazel/water wipe-down is enough cleansing preparation. I recommend again, incorporating anal beads, the tongue, a finger or a butt plug into your foreplay. Consider wearing the butt plug while going out, and exchange that for the anal beads; having them inserted and removed at will during the latter part of your foreplay. Make sure you are fully relaxed and super aroused. Be sure to use plenty of lube. Whatever is going inside your anus should "always" be slippery from lube, so it may be necessary to add more lube from time to time along the way. If anal sex is being performed with a penis, make sure it's owner starts gradually and gently, and only inserts what "you" say you can handle, in slow, in and out motions. If he is wearing a condom you must use lube that is safe for latex. Lastly, NEVER have anal and vaginal sex, going back and forth between holes without cleaning whatever's going in those holes. You don't want traces of fecal manner and anal bacteria inserted into your vagina. Now try and have some fun!

I've included a few anal sex position ideas from www.sexpositions.club below :

Anal After-Party

Minor discomfort is normal for the first few times during and after anal sex, but there shouldn't be severe pain during or afterwards. Your anus may feel a little or a lot more ...for lack of a better word "weird" afterwards and anal exercises can help. Anal kegels are a great exercise, that can be done anytime, anywhere. Tighten your anus "all the way" as if you're trying to snap a toothpick in half for a slow count of 10 seconds, then release. Repeat this 5X. Now tighten your anus "half-way", as if you're trying to hold in a grape, for a slow count of 10 seconds, then release. Repeat this 3X. Do the "all the way" and "half-way" kegels reps 4 to 6 times throughout the day.

Test your anal strength by putting a finger on your anus and feeling the movement of your sphincter tightening and relaxing, or you can look at it in the mirror, making sure you see the movement. If you find that you have some problems with continence (ability to control bowel movement), see a specialist such as a Continence Physiotherapist or a Proctologist. A Physiotherapist that specializes in continence can help guide you through physical routines and help track your progress.

At the end of the day you may personally feel as if anal sex is just not for you. It's okay if your anus can't bring itself to a happy place during anal acts. Anal sex is not for everyone, it's merely an option, and for some a preference. The anus has a right to be happy and you have a right to choose what makes you happy sexually.

Great, healthy sex is about experimentation and learning new things in addition to what we already know we like and don't like. As long as you take care of yourself and take care of your anus, you can continue to experience whatever pleasure you deserve, without the "attitude".